Well it's always been a mystery

In the winter when it's slow

Why a rancher gets up early

When he's got no place to go

He prowls around the kitchen

Like a burgler on parol

In his airconditioned slippers

With his toe there in the hole

He builds a pot of coffee

And he has a little cup

'till he thinks

Of some good reason

To wake somebody up

And all around the valley

Folk are nestled

Warmly in their bed

Unaware a tiny egg is hatching

In the rancher's head

He's reread the livestock paper

Since getting up alone

But still he hasn't quite decided

Who he's gonna phone

\"The assistant county agent

The forest ranger's boss

The banker, the brand inspector

The commissioner that lost?

The vet? THE CO-OP SALESMAN!\"

Though he can't recall his name

But it really doesn't matter

'cause anybody's game

He quivers like a panther

About to pounce his prey

As the innocent lay sleeping

Just a dial tone away

By daylight it's all over

And he's reached a fever pitch

The way he's prancin' round the house

His wife is wonderin' which

Potential victim got the call

And had his brain massaged

With a lecture

She just yesterday herself

Had tried to dodge

But little does she realize

Just why he's in a tizzy

See, his neighbors got up earlier

And all the lines were busy